The ifree Yogi

Could we be in this together...?

2011-11-02T11:28:00.000-07:00

I was just thinking about the theme of my Tuesday night Vinyasa Flow 1 for next week. It seems these days that Yoga is pointing me into another cliched prediction of the stages of my own evolution... What I mean is... As most Yogis can probably relate... There are certain Spiritual milestones that happen in everyone's practice. Say, the first time you really experience your body in an Asana class. Or the first time while sitting in meditation, you actually re-connect to the Ground of All Being and for a moment there was no notion of space or time and only Presence. And then, the point when you begin to realize that what you're doing is not even really for you... but for everyone else around you.

When I first became interested in Ayurveda and Yoga there was a self-consumed passion for them both. And even as I became a teacher, my earlier classes were more about me teaching AT my students rather than TO my students. My practice was harsh and contractile and all about perfecting Asana... Me, I, Mine!!! But now it's different. When I see someone walking down the road with a stuck hip and a resulting limp I just want to take them aside and help them reconnect with their ability to be healthy. Or now that I'm starting to recognize or theorize on peoples internal imbalances, I'm just giving all the info I have stored out for free... If what I have can help someone why would I withhold it?

So the theme for next Tuesday's Flow 1... Could we be in this together...? Knowing that it's all well and good for us to use our time in Asana to consistently internalize... But also knowing that, just as I influence my students while I teach, everyone in the room can begin to influence the person on the mat beside them. When the being beside you is obviously disconnected from the breath, briefly intensify or exaggerate your own as an example... If you see someone struggling with all they've got just to hold Down Dog, remind them that Child's Pose is always an option by taking one for yourself... even if you can hold Down Dog for 5 minutes...

I also learned a lesson not too long ago from Susi Hately that my intention cannot be everyone's intention. With all the information or true knowledge that I might have to share, I really need to come to terms with the fact that everyone is responsible for their own actions. And that some of the suggestions that I make to students in class will be resonant and some might fall on deaf or unwilling ears... And I'm slowly becoming ok with that:)

Namaste... Shanti, Shanti, Shantih

Everywhere Is Direction

2011-03-30T09:05:00.000-07:00

"The sweetest moment really occurs when you realize that you've been really into Ayurveda for a long time. But now, Ayurveda is really into you" ~Matthew Remski

This above quote from Toronto based Ayurvedic Therapist and Yoga Teacher, Matthew Remski, holds so true for me in this moment. Ever since my first introduction to Ayurveda in my Yoga Teacher Training I felt a deep connection to its Philosophy and its Science. The idea that everything in this known world, from the Gotu Kola plant to treated Mercury holds the potential to impact the health of the body.

There is a story of an ancient Ayurvedic sage, Jivakah. One day when he was teaching in Medical school he asked his students to go out into the environment around them and find something that had no medicinal value. After a few hours the students had all returned with their twig or their berry or sample of animal feces (I would guess that animal feces wouldn't have a lot of medicinal value but I don't really know). 3 or 4 hours the students waited but Jivakah had not yet returned. They waited until the end of the school day and still their guru had not shown up. The next day the students came back to the class room and yet still no Jivakah. Days past and the pupils were getting frustrated and angry with their teacher. Finally 4-5 days had past and finally Jivakah appeared, but he was empty handed. The students being angry asked him where he had been all this time and why was he wasting their time. Jivakah, demonstrating his understanding of Universal Knowledge and Life said, "I couldn't find anything, nothing that didn't have some influence on health. I looked at the rocks and realized that they contained minerals that could have an impact on our health. I looked at every weed and every plant. And as I stood and experienced those plants I realized that they too had something great to offer. I looked at every Mammal, every Reptile, every Insects and realized that no matter what I found had some impact on my state of being. I looked at the sun and the Moon and the Stars and knew that everything that I brought into my awareness somehow changed who I was and be metabolized into a new form of who I was. So I couldn't find anything that in some way or another didn't impact my health."

I have found my calling and my direction. Ayurveda is the paradox of sophisticated complexity found in the midst of the simple rhythms of Life. And after being into Ayurveda for some time now, as Matthew Remski said, Ayurveda has now taken an interest in me. I recently had a personal assessment and plan developed with Matthew and it was amazing. I found out that I'm not the constitution that I thought I was. Which makes sense since the patterns that I was trying to implement into my lifestyle weren't really working out for me. Since putting this new plan into action I'm feeling more vital than ever. Ayurveda really is a powerful science of life.

I have thus decided that I will pursue my Ayurvedic studies more formally with Matthew. He has his own Ayurvedic School in Toronto. I am extremely excited for this time in my journey. I am married to loving and support woman, I am finally discovering my Dharma and my place in this world. I am here to learn and to teach and share my knowledge and wisdom that I receive with all of those around me. I feel the true gift of knowledge is the ability to share it.

om sa ha navavatu / sa ha nau bhunaktu
sa ha viryam karavavahai / tejasvinavadhita mastu
ma vidvisavahai / om santi santi santih

May the Spirit indeed protect us both.
May the Spirit indeed nourish us both.
May we together rise up through study and understanding.
May our study shine.
May we not disrespect each other.
Om peace, peace, peace.

Shanti, shanti, shanti... Namaste

Steven Ferrell

www.steveferrellyoga.com

This post can also be found @ http://pages.videojug.com/sites/2066-iFree-Yogi

Finding Ease...

2010-09-08T08:27:00.000-07:00

I will be the first person to admit that sometimes I try way too hard. When I was in High School I tried ridiculously hard to get people to like me. In relationships, I was eager to please and I think that me trying too hard to be the perfect boyfriend was really the death of those relationships. When I started getting into fitness and body building I tried way too hard to get big arms and a ripped six pack and I would consistently push through major injuries thinking that more effort was the answer. I remember that the bane of my existence, while weight training, was my small Calves. I tried everything under the sun to get them to grow, with little success. When I started practicing Yoga, I would push and strive beyond my edge to achieve the "Perfect" postures. And although my practice looked aesthetically beautiful I was simply a ball of effort and tension.The result of so much effort?? Injury, discomfort, frustration and disdain for my physical body. And when I got injured I would use my old Body Building mentality of "Push through Pain".

When I was in Teacher Training, I learned a very valuable lesson. "Don't try so hard...." and in this practice of Yoga "Less is much more." I have been following the teachings of a Calgary Yogini named Susi Hately for a while now. Her blend of Anatomy, Bio-mechanics, Movement Science and Yogic Philosophy really speak to me. Mostly because I am definitely a self proclaimed Anatomy Geek, but secondly because her teachings are about "Getting out pain" and finding a sense of ease in the body and mind.

At this point in my practice, I am feeling a lot of discomfort and pain in my body. I have an annoying shoulder injury, consistent neck pain and some ongoing knee issues. Within the last year or so the reality of practice is becoming quite clear. Is more effort really the answer to my problem?? The progression of my Yoga and Meditation practice are now much more based in the realm of Exploration and Ease. And even though I am primarily a Vinyasa Yoga teacher I am doing no Vinyasas on my mat and am staying away from a lot of classic poses like Adho Mukha Svanasana because I feel that this and some other poses keep reinforcing the pain and discomfort that my body is trying to move away from. It just seems counter intuitive.

My biggest realization is something that I've heard other Yogis say a million times.... Yoga is not about the poses!! I always find myself quoting Sarah Powers in class. She says "We don't use our bodies to get into these poses. We use these poses to get into our bodies." This really resonates with me. I have come to terms with the fact that my body doesn't enjoy or benefit from the practice that I was used to doing. I am learning to modify, to simplify and to adapt my Asana practice based on what I think my body is asking for. And the biggest concept that I'm wrapping my "No Pain No Gain" mindset around is that practicing in pain is just re-enforcing more pain and not healing or ease. Even my meditation practice is much more exploratory. I am much less concerned with the final goal, as I used to be. I am curious about the process. When I step onto my mat, it's no longer about, "How many calories am I burning?" or "How does my Chaturanga look?" My practice has become about unraveling the tension in my body and mind. It's evolved into, "How can I develop a functional body and mind?" or "How does my Chatruanga feel?" It's become about being healthy. About finding "True" strength, flexibility and balance while staying out of pain. It's become about re-enforcing healing, compassion and rediscovering my bodies intuitive wisdom.

I have also recently married to my soul mate Adele. This philosophy of ease, fluidity and exploration, I think, are 3 major components to a successful marriage. I love married life!!
I love you Adele:)

If anyone is actually reading this, I can't stress enough that this life and practices of Yoga and Meditation are not about the superficial qualities that most of us associate with them. It's not about grasping at the "Perfect Pose" or "Achieving Enlightenment" or "Living the Perfect Life".
It's about going with the flow... about reconnecting with your innate sense of wisdom... It's about having fun, breathing, exploring, being open and loving. These are the keys to finding Ease in this lifetime and in the next!

This post is dedicated to my beautiful wife and to this journey of love and exploration that we are both on together.

Namaste...shanti...shanti...shanti

Step In, Open Up, Shine Out

2010-05-19T09:29:00.000-07:00

As we move through this life, we have choices that need to be made. To most, this seems like such an obvious thing to say. The more I attune into this life that I have the absolute honour to be a part of, I notice that people do make decisions on a daily basis... Latte or Cappuccino, paper or plastic, chicken or fish (or Tofu), so on and so on. But there is a more pressing decision to be made. To be Present or not. And I'm slightly saddened to say that a lot of people choose the "not' option.

My friend Beth Rutty (Anusara Inspired teacher), posted a fantastic question on her Facebook yesterday, "What does it mean to be Human?"
And it was actually her 17 year old son that posed the question to her. This really got me thinking......hmmmm. And this is one of those questions that links back to decision making. In our lifetime, we don't only define what it is, to ourselves, to be Human, but we make the decision whether or not to even contemplate this question in the forefront of our conscious mind or just let it reside in the back of our heads and pretend like it's not important.

To me (and I'm still contemplating this one), to be Human is to take responsibility for the Consciousness that we're given. We are the only beings on this planet that have been given the awareness and knowledge of our own existence and mortality. We have free will. We have the freedom to choose our own path in life. So I believe that we have the duty to use this free will with care and sensitivity. We need to keep others and our own "Best" interests in mind when we make the decisions that we do. For me, this is where the Yamas and the Niyamas come into practice. I think to be truly Human, we stay aware of our own uniqueness but at the same time we need to remember that we are all creatures of Nature. We are, as Michael Franti put it, "The One Earth Sons and One Earth Daughters of the One Earth Mama and the One Earth Papa!"

We need to seriously take a look at what's happening in the microcosm of our own bodies and minds and immediate communities but also stay sensitive and in tune with the Macrocosm of this Universe that we are all a part of.

After the Anusara workshop with Martin Kirk and learning more about Tantric Yoga philosophy, I've adopted a little bit of a new personal philosophy. Martin equated life to a rain puddle. Where some other schools of philosophy would ask you to step out of this life through renunciation, Tantric philosophy asks you to step into this rain puddle of life. And sometimes the rain puddle is going to get messy and sometimes it is clear, clean and shimmering. The decision that needs to be made is, will you stay in and open to what the puddle has to offer... Every experience.

My personal philosophy... Step In, Open Up, Shine Out:)

Namaste...Shanti...Shanti...Shanti

Who Inspires you and who do you inspire.... My Personal Hero: Michael J. Fox

2010-04-16T11:21:00.000-07:00

Been a while folks... I miss this in my heart as always... which is really what keeps bringing me back. I've always been one to write. In grade school I would write stories that the average expressive 8 year old boy would write. You know, the craziest little story about space and monsters with those funny little grade 3 animations... Arms too big, one leg longer, one eye bigger... If that was what I thought I looked like back then, I've definitely gotten better and more proportioned with age. In high school I really got deep into music, beat poets and really good lyricists. And even today, the first two things that I listen for in a good band are drums and vocals. You can never beat someone with a great voice, a moving message and a phat beat to back them up. I still have most of my poetry, lyrics and random ravings in a shoe box in my closet.

I think that one of the reasons that I'm back now is that there is just too much happening in my life, as of recent, that I couldn't not document it. So many things are going on right now. At times it's over whelming but thank Krishna for my breath...inhale...exhale

I think in earlier posts I've mentioned a beautiful, energetic young lady named Adele Lynn Oliver. We met 4 years ago and a smidgen back. Adele was working at a local organic grocery store as the Kitchen Manager and I would come in and buy food from her all the time. One day she asked me out for drinks, I said, "how about tonight?" And we've been inseparable ever since. It was actually Adele that introduced me to Yoga and got me into Blogging (I can't believe I just used blogging as a verb). So last year I propose to Adele, she says yes, of course. And now, one year and a smidgen ahead, we are getting married. AWESOME!!!! Planning a wedding however is not so awesome:(
But it's fun to say the least. I love you Adele:)

I'm not sure if I've ever mentioned my interest in Anusara Yoga?.?.?.? I discovered Anusara Yoga very accidentally. I don't even really know how it happened but one day I found my self reading an article about John Friend. The article was very interesting... He talked about finding alignment in poses and these "Loop Thingies" as Martin Kirk says, to help re-establish your optimal physical posture. This interests me because I'm ridiculously drawn to the workings of our physical bodies... I too am a self proclaimed anatomy geek. Ever since I read that article I was intrigued by Anusara. More recently I went to a workshop being held by an Anusara teacher from Toronto, Michael Siddall. I'd been reading more and more about Anusara on their website and in Yoga Journal, doing some videos from The Grand Gathering and this was the perfect opportunity to get some hands on experience in this practice. The workshop was amazing!! It was everything that I was looking for. The spirituality (Opening to grace), the physical alignment, all the very subtle aspects of Anusara.

Since then, I've also taken a few Anusara classes locally. But the most profound experience, so far, was going to the Toronto Yoga Conference and taking a 6 hour workshop with Anusara Certified teacher and also self proclaimed anatomy geek, Martin Kirk. The workshop covered what is known as the 5 Principal Alignments and Tantric philosophy. And it was an eye opener. From that point I became much more interested about myself, my surroundings and how I interact with everything or sometimes withdraw from everything. This weekend I will again study with Michael Siddall and it intends to be very fun!!!

My other reason for needing to blog today, was actually inspired by an Episode of Rachael Ray (the talk show not the cooking show). While flipping through channels I caught a glimpse of one of my personal hero's, Michael J. Fox. I love to hear Michael J Fox speak. The man has been through so much adversity with Parkinson's and even being thrust into the lime light at such an early age. And when you hear him talk he's so humbled by his experiences and blessed to be here and experience his life for what it is.

I saw him on The Hour with George Stromboulopolus and he was truly up lifting. He was talking about how getting Parkinson's was one of the best things that had ever happened to him. At first listen, when you hear someone say that getting a debilitating disease was the best thing that had ever happened to him, it makes you raise your eyebrows and open your mouth a little. He then went on to explain how the disease has forced him to slowdown. Physically, every move he makes has to be more planned, calculated and mindful. It's made him really step back and learn to appreciate everything that he has (family, friends the disability but also the ability). He said that if everyone were just to experience life from his perspective the world would be much more in touch with where it is and where it needs to be.

As Yogis, most of us strive to find something that was thrust upon Michael J Fox. We work hard to find the appreciation in all small things. We do our spiritual work so that we can look at a bird and appreciate the fact that, although I've seen thousands of birds, I've never seen this bird, in this moment. I try my best sometimes to slow down and be mindful. And then I'll think, "Well Michael J Fox's life depends on his ability to be mindful and present and mine doesn't." I then I realize that it does. It really does...

I like to think sometimes that I can inspire my students as much as my teachers and my hero's have inspired me. That I can use my own experience to help guide someone else on this journey. I do my best to learn from my mistakes, to be a positive person in times of adversity and share everything that I can. And to not judge myself in the times when I'm not any of those things.

To Adele Lynn Oliver, my family, friends, acquaintances and enemies (if there are any)....

Namaste...shanti...shanti...shanti

PS. Michael J Fox you are a true Yogi!!

Today I Tasted Truth.... mmmm...like honey~~

2009-12-12T12:55:00.000-08:00

I find a lot through Yoga.... for those with a consistent practice.... we know there is an abundance to discover. We learn so much and explore so often... We come in contact with our elements... Our earth in grounding, our fire in commitment, our water in adaptation and our air with intuition. For those of us that teach... whether Yoga or pre-school... We begin to realize whether or not we subscribe to your own teachings. As a Yoga teachers we learn our Yamas and my Niyamas. And almost instantly we bring some of them into play... The first Yama (Yogic 5 Restraints), Ahmisa (non-violence), tends to take hold first. Many of us become Vegetarian, Vegan or Pescetarian. We find a little more care for our own bodies. We even find ourselves questioning our violent thoughts and feelings.

As Yogis we are always told about the truth... One of my favourite questions to ask my students is "Why are you here...? What brings you to your mat?? No matter what that reason... Just know it to be true." When we grow as meditators, we begin to get small glimpses of how our experience in practice becomes relevant in the world off of our Zafus. If we practice watching our breath or using Matra meditations, we start to notice how hard, but necessary, it is to cultivate concentration and awareness. If we practice Metta (loving kindness) meditations, we notice how much we can see others as fellow children of this Universe... and we realize when we're not!! We can not only treat others with more compassion but also ourselves. I used to be a very judgmental teenager.

Right now I am really exploring the 2nd Yama, Satya (truth). I personally have a hard time getting to the truth of my finances. Or you could say that I have an easy time running away from things that I'm scared of. I know there are times when I'm not sure how much money is in my bank account. And in these particular moments, I know that there could be money directly leaving my account for certain expenses (car insurance, car payment, OSAP...on and on and on)... but rather than going onto the internet and checking my account I will run!! I will stay away until I know that I have more money. Which then leads to me not know if there is an NSF on my record.

So today I'm surfin' the interweb just a few moments ago... I'm looking at really inspiring videos of Yogis doing Intermediate and Third Ashtanga series... being truly moved by the movements and grace of the practice... and then as I go to navigate away from the site I see the website for my bank. And deep inside my mind I know that I should look and see how my finances are doing. But as always my says... "If you check and there's an NSF you're going to be upset with yourself. And then you're going to stress and worry about your stability and survival .... just ignore it." (P.S. I have first chakra issues... that's Vata for ya..:)

And then I realized that's me running away again... So I stopped myself from my fear of knowing that my survival (in financial terms) is not so stable. and so I checked my bank account. With the intention that no matter what was on that page it would be exactly as it's supposed to be. I was going in with no expectations either way. wwwhhhheeewww~~~
Turns out that all my payments have come out and I'm doing ok.... Not saying that I'm a rich man but we might be getting take out!!!!:)

Truth is a tricky situation. There has to be a willingness to look at what ever circumstance we might be facing and look at it as a witness and remain detached. The truth is scary most of the times. There might be aspects of our lives that we dodn't look at because we're afraid of the truth we've been denying. But in all truth...(ha)... Unless you live truthfully this life is empty. Unless we can look at ourselves with an objective eye we're just acting.

It is said that in all the fables about Buddha in his past lives, whether as a mountain goat, or a rabbit, Buddha did things that were not virtuos (as we all do). But the one thing that Buddha would not do is lie about it. He spoke the truth about what was so. that one virtue among all others. And truth can be the most powerful. when we live in truth we see things as they are... Life is wonderous and magical and scary and difficult.

And to quote the Buddha on truth...
"It's the quality of seeing what is true and responding with mercy, to rest in the truthful heart with compassion as well,'

Namaste...shanti...shanti...shanti and merry christmas, happy Hanukkah, etc. etc.

I Am Blue Sky!!

2009-09-27T11:43:00.000-07:00

A poem inspired by this day!!

I Am Blue Sky
by Steven Ferrell

When I sit and I cross
in this moment I am pure potential
In this breath and this bead
I wear my crown

And now with eyes open
I am blue sky
You and I, the same endless colour

We drop into ocean
and become wave...
We evaporate to sky
and become cloud

Have you heard a bird
singing through your voice?
Or felt a horse running with your legs?

In one smile...
The history, present and to come
Don't be afraid to feel your way
through lives.

Look up at your face
And bow down to your feet.
And when clouds pass...
blue sky

All in Due Time

2009-09-13T12:12:00.000-07:00

There are times in these lives, that sometimes seemingly just float by, that we get hit with something. Flying through the air so inconspicuously when it slams you right in the heart!

As an instructor, I and many call these the "Ah-ha..." moments... When for a time... you find yourself no longer try or do but being. Where words can't even begin to explain. This point that time and space collide and everything is happening not to you but through you. And this could happen on your mat in a beautiful Asana or seated on a Zafu in the sun. Or walking along the lane that runs behind the house where you grew up.

I have had few, though big, moments like this in my life... I'm not really sure if I had many as a child, but here are a few that I do recollect. One of the first was when I was dating this girl Sam. So, I was supposed to go over to her house to hang out or go somewhere. I told her on the phone that I'd be there in 20 minutes. As I hung up the phone I saw my drum set sitting in the corner of my bedroom. There was a certain rhythm that I was working on in my head... and I knew that if I didn't play it that I'd more than likely forget it all together. So I sat down behind my kit and slowly started to pound it out... It was mesmerizing to me. I ended up getting lost behind my drum set (or found) for an hour. And when I finally awoke from my meditation that I had some explaining to do. It was one of my most amazing performances...

Another such time that I will share was in Yoga Teacher Training (and I might have already Blogged about this in a past entry but alas I don't really go back to re read). All together, Yoga Teacher Training was absolute amazement!! I learned so much and had so many great experiences with my class and out in life!! One such "ah-ha" moment came while we were working on instructing someone into Ardha Chandrasana. We were all practicing... my partner Kelly was guiding my into the pose and Heather (Our Teacher) saw me struggling. she walked over, put her hand on my hip and said "You're working too hard." Which I'm blaming as my reason for falling out of the Asana;) I told her that I didn't understand. And she that I was "wasting too much energy trying to be what the pose is supposed to look like when you should just try to Be in the pose."

She slowly guided me down into a low lunge position and leaning forward. She put her hand on my back and told me to close my eyes and breath. She began to guide my breath slower and smoother. She said "Come into the pose whenever you're ready. And know that I'm here and I won't let you fall." After a few more deep calming breath and I began to lift my way up. Feeling Heather supporting my movements. As I grew fuller into the pose I felt as though my leg and fingers had no limit to their reach. I felt as light as a feather but steady like a rock. I was up there for a good 8-10 breathes when Heather told me I could come down out of Ardha Chandrasana. When I stood up I couldn't even come close expressing how good the pose felt. I was already elated by the experience when all the girls told me that after Heather brought me into the pose and stabilized me she had already stepped back and I was flying solo pretty much that whole time..... F-in Crazy!! I broke down at the realization I had. That moment will forever be with me.... thank you Heather!!

And then today happened.... or is happening~~~ First thing, earlier in the day, after Adele had left for work, I was watching TV and then I just thought about Adele, as I often do, and just had to see her picture. I looked around the room rampantly to see one and when a picture of the the two of us caught my eye, thoughts of that picture, and where we were and the fun we were having just came flooding into my brain and my heart that I couldn't control the laughter. I started just cracking up thinking about how much fun I have with Adele and how greatful I am that she's a character in this story.

Second thing, I was leafing through emails and was deleting when I thought I would take a look at one of my newer Yoga Journal emails. To my surprise there was another free video taken from the Anusara Grand Gathering DVD on Arm Balancing. HOORAY!! For the record, I am slowly getting interested in Anusara Yoga. But loving what I've seen!! So I'm watching this little 5 inch by 8 inch screen. John Friend talking about the concepts of Anusara, "Be empty like the sky. But in that emptiness there's even more fullness." So many amazing words and philosophies flying out of his heart. It really began to touch me... All of his words, how he expresses his true love for Yoga... His enjoyment of life and of the practice, and how the two are never separate. Yoga made me cry again... a happy and enthralled cry!!

I've found that the more receptive I stay to love the easier it moves into and threw me. I find myself smiling all the time (thanks to Tich Nat Hahn) and expressing myself more (thanks to Jack Kornfield). These people teaching me not to learn more about opening my heart to the world but just how to let go of the knowledge that already exists in my soul. Finding that thing that's already there. I'd also like to express my gratitude once again to Deepak Chopra for his wise words and 7 Spiritual Laws meditation. And to John Friend for not only his amazing physical alignments but also for his spiritual alignments. I think I'm intrigued by Anusara. Thank you to all my students who make it a pleasure to teach from my experience.

And last, Thank you to Adele Lynn Oliver who is there to listen to me ramble on and on about Yoga.

Namaste...shanti...shanti...shanti

oh what to blog about!!

2009-08-15T14:25:00.000-07:00

So here I am again after a month or so of not writing anything... much like my relationship with my Neti Pot (I only do it when I remember). But in all seriousness, I often get struck with the inspiration to blog when I'm no where near a computer and so it gets left undone. But every once in a while when inspiration hits me and I'm near to the laptop and I have a piece of time that I can allow for such things, blogging happens.... like right now!!

So I sit here with so many things inspiring me that I can't choose which to write about.?.?.? So I'll blog about what is happening in my mind right now, in my city right now and in the world right now.

This path of a Yogi is definitely not an easy path. To the outsider it may seem as though I live a life of peace and happiness and tranquility, and that is not completely untrue. But as I said, this path is uneasy. So many times in life I hear people say, "Oh I wish I could do Yoga but my body isn't that flexible." or " I would love to be able to meditate but I can't shut my mind off." or as a personal trainer "I wish I could look like that but I don't have the motivation to work that hard." And so hear I sit racking my brain as to what is wrong with people?!?!? And I know, somewhere inside, that it is not my place to judge or look at the world or it's inhabitants as being wrong because.... any situation where we give labels of right and wrong is judgement.

And so sometimes, as we Yogis do, I get frustrated. Frustrated at the fact that we live in this world drowning in consumerism. This world where we value more the things that we want rather than the things that we really need. This world where, more times than not, when you smile at someone you won't get a smile in return. This world where, the youth are being mentored by the people they see in music videos and in reality TV shows. This land where we've become so lazy that we now can buy premade (highly processed) muffin mix in a tin.

It is very difficult to, as Yogis say, see myself in everyone that passes by me. It is even more difficult for me to try and understand how people can, day by day, see their loved ones dying from disease and not take the steps to lead a healthier lifestyle. It's hard to see my father watch his brother die of Lung Cancer and continue to smoke a pack of cigarettes a day. Or to see a young, pregnant woman not cherishing the unborn child she has inside of her by smoking and drinking. But... and there is a but... it is not my place to judge.

Jack Kornfield tells a story of a group of Tibetan Forest Monks that follow their master Ajahn Chah to England. The master sends these monks out into the streets for Oms rounds (they basically go out and beg for food and can never say thank you in return). One of the monks asks his master, "Why would we go out in this place? They give us almost no food, people think it's strange." Ajahn Chah replied, "You do this because it is your practice. You must go out because you are a messanger. It's possible, you don't know it, but it's possible that someone walking down the street could see you and that person could be the next Buddha. So you go out not just for yourself but also for others, so that you can tell them that there is another way."

This story really rings true. Buddhist Monks while meditating will end their meditations silently saying to themselves, "May my meditations not only benefit myself but also benefit those around me." I remember doing this when I went to a Buddhist temple here in Hamilton. And so I walk away from this blog a little more enlightened than frustrated. I do this practice and follow this path not only for myslef but so that what I do can benefit others. To let them know that, "There is another way."

Namaste...shanti...shanti...shanti

To Sangha

2009-06-30T13:07:00.000-07:00

This one is for friends, for family, for supporters but also for sceptics, for those who don't believe in connection. Or for those who don't believe that you can find solace and support in people of like mind and value.

I feel absolutely blessed to be where I am in my life right now. I am slowly but surely making my way into teaching Yoga full time (which if you ask Adele isn't such a great idea because she'll lose her personal trainer... no worries sweety... I'll make you do walking lunges til death due us part!!). I'm teaching more classes, doing workshops and teaching some privates here and there. I feel as though I'm inspiring my students and in turn they inspire me. I'm teaching at 3 really great studios in the Hamilton area. But one of the most amazing things about being a Yogi is the community that exists for us. Especially De La Sol, where I teach the bulk of my classes. It's an amazing studio. We're all relatively young teachers there, with varying levels of experience. But it's such a sharing and giving environment. Every teacher has a wealth of knowledge that they're willing to pass on at the drop of a hat. We're a very open community of teachers.

This past Sunday De La Sol held a grand re-opening party for their new studio. The community was invited to join us for free food, wine and entertainment. The turn out was phenomenal. The energy and conversation flowed as freely as the local wines and for me, the pomegranate iced tea.

It was really an amazing group of people. I got to talk to teachers and more importantly students (which you sometimes don't get a chance to do). We shared stories, laughs and hugs!! My friend Natalie and I got to perform a demonstration of our Partner Yoga practice. A routine which we diligently and meticulously choreographed. Katie's sister, Melissa McClelland (Canadian Singer/Song Writer) performed some of her songs. All in all, a fulfilling night.

Basically what I'm trying to say is that it's awesome that there's a place where we can go and practice Yoga and teach Yoga and just be Yoga. And while doing all these Yogic type things there is a community of like minded people right there with you. People that you can share experience with. People that you can learn from and people that want to learn from you. I can go to De La Sol even when I'm not teaching or taking class and just hang out in the lounge and read a book. Or even sign out a book from their Yoga library.

For anyone who might read this. There are places in your community where this happens. If you're not part of a Sangha (community), try going to your local Yoga studio. Yogis tend to be very welcoming people.

We're all in this together... All beings everywhere just want to be happy!!

Here is a quote that I heard today from my friend Andre...

“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.” -Rumi

Namaste...shanti...shanti...shanti

Inspiration Station!!

2009-06-15T11:33:00.000-07:00

So in class sometimes I'll relay the concept of non-attachment by saying that, "What may be here today might not be here tomorrow." Especially when it comes to, the sometimes elusive, heels touching the ground in Downward Facing Dog. So with this sense of non-attachment we can cultivate a even more powerful sense of contentment. Things are the way they are... and that is the real truth. That whole concept holds no truer than right now.

I spent a while today writ ting a blog. And in my mind it was a really great blog... and I felt it was an amazing representation of how I was feeling at the time... which was extremely inspired. It had fantastic literary content... everything that a budding young blogger would be proud of!! Unfortunately I wasn't able to finish the blog before I had to go teach. So as I sat down about 5 minutes ago and proceeded to load up my account, I was excited to finish the revelation that had the potential to save the world. And I soon realized that my entry didn't save.... DIDN'T SAVE!!

And I'm not saying that this experience is unique (although at the heart of it...every experience in unique). Everyday there is "work" done by somebody somewhere. And Everyday certain circumstances happen to eradicate said "work". And when I realized that my blog entry wasn't there, and that my ideas were lost and my words were lost, my natural reaction would have been one of anger, disappointment and fear. But as I felt some of those natural, habitual reactions coming to the surface something was different this time. I let it go!! I just let it go!! Impermanence!! Wow...!! I hear Jack Kornfield and others talking about it all the time. The fact that nothing around us is permanent. Even the things (ourselves) that grasp at these impermanence's are impermanent... I heard that somewhere.

And as easy as it could have been to try and re-write my elusive blog, it wouldn't be coming from the same inspiration that I first felt. It would be more of me trying to remember a string of thoughts, that at the time were representative of what I was thinking. It would be me grasping at impermanence. And just as I learned something this morning that I wanted to share, I just now had a personal milestone... and a grand revelation... hopefully, that revelation will be here tomorrow... and if not... for a time that revelation graced my presence.

But I will say that my blog was basically saying that my friend Natalie is becoming a fantastic Yoga teacher. She teaches inspiring classes... and this morning she inspired me and made me realize some major things. Today has been a busy day for me!!

This has been a PSA brought to you by the powers of Yoga.

Namaste...shanti...shanti...shanti

Back again!!

2009-04-11T15:23:00.000-07:00

Greetings to all!!! It's definitely been a while since my last blog entry!! But So many amazing things have happened:D For a while life was pretty complicated.... I was getting to be very unhappy and unsettled at my job. My boss is a little bit of a spazz!! For those of you who are familiar with the Ayurvedic sciences, he is an extremely out of balance Vata. He can't hold a conversation for more than 2 minutes without being completely distracted by the thoughts in his head. And it's funny because he knows that he needs Yoga more than anyone and always pokes fun at me and my students for doing Yoga... He tries to be a real "Mans Man" and play off that weight lifting is what guys should be doing and Yoga should be left for the females. And he wouldn't dare be caught meditating or chanting because he has this unrealistic image to uphold. Anyway it was getting to the point where I couldn't bare to work for him. We have so many conflicting views on fitness, diet and even health in general. I don't agree with the way he runs his business (from a pure money grubbing, greedy stand point) or the way he treats his clientel (once the money's in... who are you?). Don't get me wrong... Inside he has a really great heart, but his damn head keeps getting in the way!!

Anyway, I left that job... it was a well needed change. I was crazy nervous before I gave my 2 weeks notice. Mainly because I didn't really know how my boss would react. It was either going to be fine or I was going to end up with a black eye and a broken nose. I used my 7 Spiritual Laws meditations to keep me centered and on the right path while this whole situation unravelled. Om Ritam Namah... My intentions and desires are supported by the universe... that was a big help!! It gets confusing sometimes when life is changing... I think most of us second guess ourselves when really big decisions need to be made... I just made my intention to leave clear, gave my notice and let the Universe take care of the rest. It went OK!! He was sad to see me go but knew that I was following my dream of teaching Yoga full time. So that is that... for those of you that know me, you know that there's more to that story but I'll spare the drama to anyone else.

As well, Adele and I were having problems with our living situation. A couple had moved in to one of the ajacent apartments. At first they seemed like really nice people but as time went on we discovered that they were not what we thought. I got bad vibes from the girl right away. I'm pretty good with energy and she was oozing with bad energy!! She could really get under skin and as bad as it is to say, I sometimes allowed her to bring the worst out in me!! I've always had a hard time with non-judgement. Because I spent a little chunk of my life being judged and ridiculed I had a tendency to relay that into even more judgement... a brutal cycle. I concentrate really hard sometimes trying to control it. Anyway, As the months went by Adele and I started to get really annoyed with them. They would come by without calling or texting first and would actually look in our living room window to see if we were home. Just no privacy and a little.. CREEPY!! It started to get to the point where we were trying to avoid them all together. If they would knock on our door we wouldn't answer. Some nights we would just sit in silence, with the TV on Mute, if we heard them walking up to our door. This was not a really healthy way to live and me being the King of Non-Confrontation we didn't tell them to just leave us alone. So Adele and I found a new apartment. It's a great new place with more room, free cable (free Comedy Network!!) and free internet.... oh and free parking and laundry!! Crisis Averted!!

So life has been crazy!! During the move our computer crashed, which is why I have been MIA from the blogging community... Adele and I are now engaged... since March 8th (which just happened to be the 3 year anniversary of our first date). I am awesomely excited about that!! I am still doing some personal training but am slowly making my way into teaching Yoga full time. I'm teaching @ 3 different studios and it's going great!! I'm getting myself a website so that everyone can find where I'm teaching and training. I'm also considering taking an Ayurvedic Physicians program in Toronto. Sometimes it really amazes me how much Yoga has changed and enriched my life.

For those interested, I am teaching Monday nights 5:45-6:45 @ MBC studios,
Thursday nights 7:30-9 @ Shanti Yoga, and Saturday morning 10:15-11:45 and 1-2:30 @ De La Sol Yoga (I teach Hot Flow there)
Starting on July 6th I'll also be teaching an 8 week Ashtanga intro at St. Cuthbert's Church in Westdale from 7-8:30.

To all of you... it's good to be back!!

I leave you with a quote that really is hitting me lately...

"Never doubt that a small group of committed people can change the world!
Indeed it is the only thing that ever has." - I think this is Margaret Mead?!?

Namaste...shanti...shanti...shanti!!

The Value of a Good Cartoon!!

2009-03-21T14:14:00.000-07:00

Remember back in the day (what ever day that may be) when you would watch a show that just had a good message or moral behind the story. Like Fat Albert for instance. Bill Cosby would always have his little segment where he would share with the viewer some sort of valuable message, like don't judge a book by its cover or eat jell-o pudding pops. Or at the end of the Care Bears when they would have the Care A Lot skit.....oh.... like that one where those two kids are fighting over the lime green Popsicle and then it breaks and melts on the floor..... no one got the Popsicle!!! Then Cheer Bear would show up with another Lime Green Popsicle and break it in half and disperse the parts equally.... and everyone was happy!!!! And these are the messages that are missing in alot of today's programming.

So recently I've been watching the anime sensation Avatar: The Last Air Bender. For those of you that don't know, The Avatar is a cartoon about a little Buddhist monk whose destiny it is to save the world from the Evil Fire Nation.

The show is laced with amazing little stories and morals and most of them based in a realm of Buddhist and Yogic philosophy. There's even an episode where the Avatar (Aang is his name) has to meet up with a Yoga guru so that he may help Aang open and master his 7 Chakras. Although most people aren't going to master and clear their Chakras in 5 minutes like Aang did,
it's still pretty amazing to see a cartoon that teaches kids about these philosophies. As well, when it comes time for Aang to defeat the Fire Lord (basically killing him) Aang remembers his Buddhist morals and instead of destroying the Evil Fire Lord he chooses the path of non-violence and merely takes away the Fire Lord's powerful ability to control fire.

All in all, I would have to say that I would recommend that anyone should watch the Avatar....from young to old. There are several valuable lessons to be learned and it's also
got some really amazing animation, general plot, great character development and it's pretty damn funny in my books.....it also made me cry a little bit!!

So think about it the next time you're thinking of something interesting and entertaining to watch....there's a show out there that actually has a base of true virtue underlying a dynamic story!!!

GO AVATAR!!!

Namaste...shanti...shanti...shanti

Making His way Home - ode to my Uncle Ferg

2009-02-08T08:55:00.001-08:00

My Uncles funeral was yesterday... not a dry eye in the house!! The man was so well loved!! Yogis say that sometimes the practice of Asana can become a spontaneous meditation and release of creative energy. In Flow Class today my goal was to cultivate a pure practice of gratitude. To be grateful for every breath and every movement. As well, I dedicated my practice to my Uncle Ferg. During Savasana this poem started to write itself.

Making His Way Home
by Steven Ferrell

Today they say a man was lost.
And to the ground his body tossed.
To be cycled through this world again
as husband, uncle, father, friend...

His body not betrayed himself
instead a life of loving wealth
His last smile felt,
His last breath breathed,
But still I hold no sense of grief.

For as lay in smiles, in sun
I see the grace in everyone,
In eyes, in leaves
In gowns and graves,
And every time a child is made.

I feel we need to all embrace
each stage of life in time we'll face.
In his death and rebirth,
In our sadness and fear,
His flesh now gone, his heart still here.

So don't consider him lost today.
When we think on him he's not alone
As guide and guru along this path
My Duke is making his way home

One Comes In and One Goes Out

2009-02-06T08:04:00.000-08:00

So for anyone that might actually read my blog.... It's a hell of a long time since my last post!!! For anyone that cares... um sorry!!

But as the Sixth Spiritual Law says "Om Anandham Namah - My actions are blissfully free from attachment to outcome" So writing or not writing... Readers or no readers, here I am.

A lot of crazy hazy stuff has been happening lately and as they say... things always come in 3's.

Number one, which is in continuation as we speak, my Uncle Ferg is one of the millions that have fallen victim to cancer. One of the most beautiful men that I knew, had been diagnosed with Lung Cancer a little over a year ago. Apparently when he was a child he was drinking unpasteurized milk and caught a bad case of Tuberculosis which the doctors say was the beginning of the cancer.... which I don't really understand but I'm not a doctor. Non the less my uncle later developed two tumors in his lung (both substantial in size). And this is where the roller coaster begins. Uncle Ferg had his first cycle of radiation and responded amazingly. One of the tumors had shrunk from the size of a baseball to the size of a nickle and the other tumor had almost completely disappeared.... HOORAY!! The operation to remove the tumors was successful and we thought that this was it...he's going to make a full recovery. And he was already starting to grow his hair back (which had resembled an "greaser" style like a young Elvis Presley) previous to the radiation.

I am a huge believer that you must facilitate your own own healing process... you need to be the most active participant!! Unfortunately, like most others, my Uncle Ferg had just relied on the doctors to do cure him. Being that my Mom and Aunt are both very knowledgeable in the ways of holistic nutrition, they tried to make suggestions but to no avail. He was to "Old Skool" and skeptical to try anything (even a shot wheat grass). I believe that it was this lack of care for himself that eventually led to my uncle getting another tumor and then bone cancer. Which brings forth the question in my mind..."Why would you not want to know or heal your own body?"

Needless to say I am attending my Uncles funeral tomorrow. But while he lived, he was a hilariously funny man with a lot of love to give. He will be missed!!

2nd.... It has been decided that my father, wonderful as he is, is no longer allowed to step onto or off of the back of a pick up truck. About three weeks ago my dad, who has been taking care of my Uncle Fergs property while he's was sick, broke his leg..... oh you old bastard.... can I say that.... not very Yogic but what-a-ya-gonna do...?? He was trying to get a snow blower off the back of his pick-up truck when his proprioception failed and he stepped into space and came crashing down on his heel. As a result, he now has a vertical hairline fracture of his Fibula...Boooooo!!!! Fortunately enough, the break wasn't major and he is healing nicely without the use of a cast or any surgery (just a brace). Man I love that guy!!

And last but not least.... The Wednesday after my dad broke his leg I got a call from my mom saying that my 3 yr old niece Emma had a seizure. Frightening!!! It was 3 in the morning when Emma had gone into my sisters room because she couldn't sleep. My sister took Emma back to her room and was soothing her back to sleep when Emma started to seize. Even now when I think of what that must have been like for my sister, I get queezie!! After 3 weeks and several tests later (CT, EEG) Emma has not had another seizure and they still have not figured out what caused it.

So this is where I'm at!! A seizing niece, a broken dad and a dead uncle.....wow!!!

And this is the thing.... Yoga has helped me deal with it all. The grief, the death, the fear, the pain, the worry.... Yoga (and Adele) has helped me cope with all of it!! And I think these days, when all of this is so common in my life ( and in most peoples), seeing people with cancer or just getting ill, the gift of Yoga and spirituality is such a blessing. It, along with meditation, lends me the tools to explore and know myself and the world around me.... I'm learning to be more mindful.... I'm learning to see the grace in all things (from birth to death)... I'm learning that I don't always need to react and now I can respond. Life is a grand dance and when one song is ending another song begins.

This is for you Uncle Ferg... you crazy old fart!!

"One comes in and one goes out." -Jack Johnson

Namaste...shanti...shanti...shanti

Who's that...? Oh it's the Witness!!

2008-11-17T08:00:00.000-08:00

A new-be to the Yoga world, I have just uncovered a treasure that is probably pretty apparent to most people who have followed Yogic or Buddhist philosophy for a while!!!! Jack Kornfield ;)
It totally happened by accident... I think that I had read his name on the home page of Yoga Journal...and then a couple of days later (possibly weeks...I live in the freakin moment...no time for days or weeks...) I found a Jack Kornfield book called After The Ecstasy, The Laundry. I was blown away by it. I won't go into the premise of the book...just read it or listen (I actually have the audio book).

You know how sometimes you'll hear a piece of advice coming from a whirlwind of sources telling you "This is the way...Do it like this!!" And you'll hear this advice about a thousand and six times... and then one day you're just sitting in your car on your break. And you begin to listen Jack Kornfield on your ipod. *And keep in mind I've never heard this mans voice before* And all of a sudden you hear this soft, calm, slow but exceedingly comfortable voice. And this voice tells you "This is the way...Do it like this!!" And somehow you seem to forget every other time you heard the advice in past because those times mean nothing now that you're really hearing it for the first time!!
Welcome to my new reality.

So now that I am a pseudo student of Jack's (we're tight), and have been meditating more and more... I am lead to the place that meditation can take you... The Witness! I don't think that I ever spent too much time in the Witness. Being Unbiased and neutral but still very enthusiastic about that which is being witnessed... I was pretty complacent as a youth...super lazy and un-involved... I was interested in knowledge and philosophy and science but was just so unmotivated to take any of it... But now? I'm am witnessing some crazy shit!!! When you meditate you really start to examine what your sources are. Where you came from... What choices you have made you who you are?

Today I really figured out that exceeding low self-esteem is my main reason for being a Yogi today. It was this lack of self-esteem that lead me to weight training... It was weight training and a real interest in myself that lead me to feeling comfortable in my own skin. It was also this interest that lead me to being interested in Anatomy and Physiology... which in turn lead to and lead to and lead to until we're here. And I found Yoga!!

But the things that I've heard over and over and just realized lately are all about our generosity in life. How much are we willing to give? How much time, how much effort? This concept of giving really put it's hand on me a couple of days ago when I was teaching a semi private session. Both of my students came in feeling depressed and sub-par. During our warm up of Sun Salutations I had said something to the effect that "In our Yoga practice we need to have a little faith... Faith in yourself to lead you to the right place in your practice and faith in the breath to help get you there." This really struck an accord with one of the girls so much that she actually stopped doing Sun A and just wanted to listen to what I had to say. She asked me a question and then another and rather than teaching Asana for the rest of the session we just talked. They asked questions and I gave answers if I had them.

The thing that I like most about Yoga is that it's so experiential... You need to do it to get it. "99% practice" as Pattabhi Jois says. So most of my answers for the ladies were based on my experiences and how I interpreted such experiences. The more questions they asked, the more I found myself really sharing my story with them. Telling them things that even my friends don't really hear about. After the session we all hugged and I felt this feeling that I had never gotten after teaching a class... This feeling that I had done something generous.... My epiphany... By listening to their questions and sharing my experiences I had practiced generosity. And it felt good.... Could this be a trend!!??

So hear it is....you've heard it before... Generosity is the key!! Generosity to those around you and also generosity towards yourself. Try it if you haven't. Real generosity... without consideration of reward or praise... just pure generosity!! Keeping with the season, now is the perfect time.

Namaste...shanti...shanti...shanti

When Challenged, Do I Run or Breath?

2008-11-03T08:45:00.000-08:00

Lightly close the eyes...bring your attention to your breath...keep concentration on the cooling sensation on your inhalations and the warming sensation on exhalation at the rim of the nostrils...hold this concentraion strong for a few moments...now relax your concentration...Today we meditate on the sense of compassion...To deeply feel compassion toward all living things we must first bring our awareness to the suffering of all living things...Think of all the suffering that happens all around the world...think of suffering from the very extreme to the very subtle...from the poverty that happens all around the us to the subtle suffering of someone who stresses out over losing $100 at the casino...and think of every suffering in between...these are all types of suffering no matter how minute... Now imagine that every living being on our world could be free of all their suffering no matter how big or how small...now hold this feeling at your heart...hold it strongly without waivering your concentration...

This is a meditation that I've found myself doing quite a bit since I've been taking a Buddhist meditation course for the past 8 weeks...And it helps. I talked a bit last time on how I've been feeling more compassion towards people and things in general. I feel that meditation has really helped me deal with my stresses no matter how minor they may seem. Even on my yoga mat I've been learning to treat myself with compassion by thinking about my stresses and sufferings on my mat. I've come to the conclusion that sometimes I fear slowing down and sometimes I fear trying new poses (especially crazy looking ones). And as much of a cliche as it is "We need to find that balance between will and surrender." We need to stay mindful and treat every challenge with acceptance and compassion.

And this is my lead-in to something that instantly made me want to write.... It was a weekend of learning about how others use compassion and mindfulness to over come, what seem to me, great challenges in life. The first such instance came on Saturday when Adele's friend Lara sent her a video that we watched. I've posted the link here so you can watch and be inspired by someone elses courage. The video was about a small baby (Eliot) that was born with major health complications. Eliot was not even expected to make it through childbirth. Instead of being so overwhelmed by this challenge that they would complain and give up, the parents treated every second that their son was alive as a miracle. They accepted their child's condition not as a challenge but as opprotunity to be with him every day he was alive. I was on the verge of tears wathcing this video.

The second instance was Saturday night while watching Gandhi (the movie). I'd never seen Gandhi or really knew too much about his struggles in this life. It was truly an inspiring telling of his life. A man that saw injustice and needed in his heart to stand an fight...but without violence!! BRAVO!! What a true hero to mankind. A selfless man who mealry wanted equality for his fellow man. And was willing to stand-up to any challenge with compassion. This movie also brought me to the verge of tears...compassion filled tears.

This weekend was a great inspiration to me and really brings home what I am learning in Buddhist Meditation... That my meditations be cause to help end the suffering of not only myself but those around me. Whether I only effect one or many I try to live in this compassionate state. And whether you follow the teachings of Buddha or Christ or Vedantic traditions... they all teach the same thing... We are all brothers and sisters of this vast universe... We are all someones Mother or Father, Son or Daughter.

I meet the challenge of treating everyone as my sister or brother with compassionate open arms and not aversion.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qILw1iFzmIE
this is the video!!

Namaste...shanti...shanti...shanti

This Is Not A Lamp!! WTF!!

2008-10-22T12:37:00.000-07:00

So how right was Bob Dylan when he said, "These times they are a changin'."
Super right!!!

He could not have been more true than right now in time. So many things are changing
at this time.... Not only are the leaves changing from a deep green to those beautiful shades of
of red, yellow and burgendy but so much more than that.

In Canada we recently had an election for our Prime Minister (and even though it's the same dude as last time). This election was a record low for voter turn out at a whopping 54%...CRAZY!! Is it that people don't care about who's running the show or are we all just fed up with the same political bullshit. All the promises that fall by the way side once a person is elected...All the new taxes that seep out of our wages to support this and that when really the money goes toward taking a limo to the corner store. Needless to say I was disappointed when I heard that the turn out was so poor. But on a higher, more resonant note, the Green Party (for whom I voted) had the highest record of votes in their party's history. Which tells me that people are definitely taking the importance of the environment more seriously. So that's the politics portion.

Hhhhmmmmm...what else is changing...oh wait...just my perception of reality!!!
I have been taking a Buddhist Meditation course for the past 8 weeks at the Samudra Buddhist Temple in my city of Hamilton. It is truly a Lotus springing out of the mud (it's in a not so good area of town-but sorely needed). This part of my journey is bringing a lot of things into light. I am now questioning my self, my surroundings and everything even the kitcken sink these days. I and learned last night that there is no kitchen sink....WTF!!! I'm still trying to wrap my mind around that one. I find myself with more clarity. I find myself in the witness more these days, especially when it comes to my reactions toward people and certain scenarios. I'm not so reactive in traffic, I'm not so put down by bad weather and the most amazing thing is that I'm not so angered by people that I would usually find Uber-irritating. Let's give it up for MEDITATION!!! Oh and I was way less reactive when I tried to write a blog the other day and as soon as I got to the end something crashed and the entry was lost...but it lead the way for this entry!!

Things in this world are getting crazy people...are you ready handle it...calmly?
If you're not and you're interested in preparing check out this website
http://www.getselfcentered.com/ It has some great insight!!

If the goal of life is to love (truly love)...Yoga will help us to get there.

Namaste...shanti...shanti...shanti

For show...but still!!

2008-09-04T08:26:00.000-07:00

So here I am again, having not posted in more than a month and asking myself why I even do this...!?!? But never the less, I love to write when I am inspired to. And let me tell you, last Sunday I was deeply inspired. My wonderful partner, Adele and I, have been having an amazing Summer... We've gone camping a few times, went to art exhibits, walked the streets of Toronto and Montreal and last weekend we saw the beautiful show that is Cirque De Soleil. The name of the show was Saltimbanco (which is one of the original shows). HOLY SHIT!!!! That stuff is crazy. So many fantastically talented people who really excel in their chosen field. There were gymnasts, dancers, clowns, actors, singers and athletes of all kinds. The show was without a doubt the most visually stunning display that I have ever seen.

This also brings up a point that I'd like to address. When I told my teacher that I was going to see Cirque we had a great conversation about how beautiful the show is and how visually impressive it is to see such control of the body. We talked about how watching that can really inspire a Yoga practice. And how when you see these things it makes you realize that some of the poses that we think are physically out of our reach can really be possible. Then she brought up the point that it's all for show... And yes obviously it's all for show!!! I paid $70 to see it!!But still...

These people might not be getting into Cirque to connect with their "True Self" but you really have to admire the Tapas and discipline that it takes to get to that level. I personally think that even though these things are done for performance, some of the same "Yoga rules" still apply. It takes quite a bit of physical awareness and concentration to do a single arm handstand on another persons head. I've never been in that kind of situation to tell you if the breath is involved...but I can assume that it is. Even if it's not being used as a vehicle to personal and universal enlightenment, somewhere in there is some sort of realization. I'm also assuming that, at some point, these performers have had to leave their ego's in the dressing room and just "show up" to the performance.

So as Yogis, we should never just play these things off as just being for show... we are all putting the same amount of energy into it. Some people just choose to put their energy into different places. But in the reality of it all...if they didn't do what they do (and perfectly too) I wouldn't have had an amazing show to watch and wouldn't have been inspired to write this post or I wouldn't have had the realization that it might just be possible to transition from Bakasana to Handstand with a little Tapas and an open mind.

Namaste...shanti...shanti...shanti

PS...it was a girl....Samantha Page Overholt...good job sis!!

I Am My Own Master...my own guru

2008-07-28T07:51:00.000-07:00

Since my inception to Yoga some year and a bit ago I have grown...and then shrunk...and then I have grown again. These are the stages of our lives. We go through periods of ups and downs... we all know this. In this past year I have found myself enlightened (even if slightly) and then just as confused by Yoga. At times my practice is clear and concise. I'm consistent with my asana practice. I practice my meditation 3-4 days a week. I do breath work on a regular basis. And then there are times when I find myself making excuses not to step onto my mat. I am easily distracted away from my meditative state. And while practicing my Kapala Bhati, breath is the furthest thing from my mind.

I am currently working through a really amazing book that is helping to put my practice into a wide screen, director's cut kind of view. Meditations from the Mat by Rolf Gates has been a hand reaching through the muck to help me out of some deep muddy pits. The book consists of 365 essays meant to be read day by day. Unfortunately I find my self not always with time to read a chapter so I opt for reading as much as I can, when I can. It's a wicked book full of so much insight. It deals with Rolf's insight on the Yamas and Niyamas as it has related to situations and scenarios in his own life. Simple fact is, is that we all go through some of the same types of situations. And having a book of stories about how one man has dealt with his life stresses is great as a reference for someone like me, on this path of Yoga.

I recently read chapter 44 which talks about "Right Action". Gates talks of his plans to meet with a financial planner but just kept putting it off. He finally takes this "Right Action" and wastes no more time getting his finances into balance. He says that, "It's about our actions and not our good intentions. If we want self-esteem, we must do estimable things." He goes on to say that we must not wait for that "feeling-good" momentum to start our "Right Action". "If you want to meditate, staple your butt to the cushion; sooner or later your mind will quiet down." What great advice.

Since reading this I have found myself lifted up once more out of the mud. I taught my first workshop Yesterday... and it felt amazing. I had a great turn-out, mostly beginners. The 3 hour workshop focused on breaking down the movements of the Ashtanga Sun Salutations A & B and then stringing the movements together into the beautiful dance that is Surya Namaskar. I spent an hour just teaching Ujjayi Pranayama until everyone in the room felt pretty comfortable...and then we began!! I love teaching... I always have.

When I started to get really good at the drums and people asked me about what I knew, I would graciously share my experiences and knowledge. When I started to become very proficient at weight training people in the gym would always ask me about my workouts...and once again I was more than willing to help and teach technique and focus. Now that it comes to Yoga I find myself always answering questions from students and non-students. I could go on for hours answering these inquiries. And knowing that I don't have the answer all the time.

This is where chapter 44 comes in...right action...I love to learn and teach...now it's time to take right action...I have decided that learning and teaching Yoga is my calling...I feel a deep resonance with this path in life. No matter the ups or downs...Yoga is there...Yoga is consistently bringing me back up and reminding me of my capabilities. It helps bring me back to my mat, back to my Zafu and back to my breath. It helps bring me back into my relationships and helps take me out of my ego.

All right...time for some more Right Action!! Time to go work Jump Throughs!!

"Take up space, be grand, act great!"
-Rolf Gates, Meditations from the Mat; pg59

I'd like to dedicate this entry to my new niece or nephew... not sure until tomorrow!!

Namaste...shanti...shanti...shanti

i free like child

2008-07-01T13:35:00.000-07:00

*this is an excerpt from a shpeel that I used for class on Wed. June 25th*

Today's class is about having fun... And I don't say that as to imply that we don't have fun here... It's all about the play... It's all about coming here and hangin' out with each other... We come... We do some poses... We stretch... We laugh... We breathe... You come here every Wednesday... And the great thing is that you commit yourself to coming... You make the commitment to show up and sometimes that's the hardest part... To show up. You commit yourself to taking time out of life's busy nature... To taking time to play!!!

It's all about getting that feeling back... It's about getting back that awareness...

Just think, for a second, about the life of a child... Perhaps even your own child... Or maybe a niece or nephew... Possibly a friends child just to cover all the bases!
These children that possess unbound awareness in everything that they see, hear, touch, smell, taste... Everything is new... Every moment, every second, every breath is a learning experience... Somewhere along the way most of us lose that connection to awareness... We play everything off like we've seen it before... We lose that ability to treat every moment as a chance to learn something new.

And this is one of the wonders of Yoga... It's purpose is to reconnect us with that awareness... To help us smell every scent, hear every sound, see every sight and really take the time to breathe and appreciate every breath... And as we get more connected to awareness we allow ourselves to play freely without fear... Without a sense of foolishness... Being mindful and deeply rooted in our practice but allowing ourselves to "Play the edge" just a little bit... Be like a child. Willing to step near the edge and play. Flirt with the unknown momentarily.

It's about trying to get as close as possible to that line that separates Will and Surrender... Having the willingness to try and do these poses... Having the willingness to really challenge your physical body, the willingness to challenge your "mental" by staying connected to the practice and to the breath... But, at the same time, being able to surrender the body and the mind... Surrender to the possibilities of not only Yoga itself but more importantly surrender your body and mind to the possibilities of You... The endless nature of your capabilities...

Once we can play at the edge without fear of possibilities...without fear of outcome... by surrendering all of our efforts to something higher than our need to succeed... once we can let go... childlike freedom is ours!!!

So I invite you children of young and old.... PLAY!!!!

Namaste...shanti...shanti...shanti!

The Yoga Challenge!!

2008-06-04T10:09:00.001-07:00

There is true dichotomy in this force we call Yoga...the dichotomy of balance. The balance between effort and surrender within the Asanas (poses). The balance of your inhalations and exhalations, as you breathe through effort and into surrender. And, of the utmost importance is the equanimity of knowing when to step up to the challenge (whether on or off your mat) and when to stand down...

It's almost like the song The Gambler by Kenny Rogers...and it's true...You gotta know when to hold 'em or know when to fold 'em.........

So today, I pose to you a challenge. And it's not just a challenge of the body (no Headstands for 100 breaths) but also a challenge of the mind...

All of this, knowing when to step up and knowing when to take a knee...it's all there inside you...it's called intuition. It is the unexplainable energy that fuels us... It is the unmistakable feeling that in the present time, you know exactly what is right for you to do in that precise moment...You handle the situation breath by breath...

And this is what Yoga is. Yoga is knowing (through experience) and doing what's right for you... Yoga is about getting to know...reeeeally know...Yourself. Getting to know yourself so well, in fact, that you can intuit every situation... So that you can live your life knowing what to do and when to do it but also what not to do and when to let go.

So your challenge (for anyone who might read this....Really only Adele reads this!!) is to honour yourself today...Honour everything about yourself...Honour everything you like...everything you don't like...every bit of muscle and every bit of fat...every Asana that you find freedom in and every Asana that you hate and struggle with...Honour every thought about your baby niece and every thought about that person that cut you off in traffic...Honour your body and honour your mind..... what's the best way....breathe and accept!!!

Namaste...shanti...shanti...shanti!!

His Holiness The 14th Dalai Lama...Here's lookin' at you!!

2008-04-27T11:05:00.000-07:00

I try to live my life based on the honour system. I believe that most people are good people unless they prove otherwise. I think that the world and its inhabitants have immeasurable potential to make the universe a more beautiful place to reside. But man do I ever get pissed sometimes when people really prove me wrong. I know I shouldn't let it get to me but sometimes this world seems so far gone that it appears next to impossible to pull our species back up to the shore.

I'm sure everyone has heard of the recent riots in Tibet and that the outcome of these riots is the possible resignation of his holiness the Dalai Lama, as the Leader striving for the freedom of his home land.

How far does a man need to be pushed before he resigns as the leader of freedom and peace for his homeland. Hu Jintao, President of the Peoples Republic of China, claimed that His Holiness the Dalai Lama was directly responsible for the recent protests. Now explain this to me, when China is now based on democracy and freedom how can it lead a battle against the people of Tibet and oppose their freedom for religion when it is promised by their constitution. These days honesty is still here but very fuzzy to the eyes.

I hope that the Dalai Lama and the Chinese government work out their differences...But if the Dalai Lama is made to step down then he was made, not only to stand up for us as humans and humanitarians, but to bow down from his post as Tibets freedom fighter...the world will go on turning and the Dalai Lama will continue to love and fight for compassion.

On another note...
Earth day has just past and I for one, with my new introductory to Yoga, am feeling more compassion for my planet than ever before, in he history of me. I believe in the choices that Adele and I are making to help us and to help repay the tab that we've rackin' up with Mother Earth.

This is gonna be a crazy year kids. We're gonna see some crazy shit go down soon.
But we're ready for it...There are a large number of us who know that life does go on...In the face of pure joy and pure sorrow...birds will sing and the sun will rise...clouds will come and go in this world and in the next...It is you and I that are infinite energy!!!

Namaste...shanti...shanti...shanti

Teacher Teach Me!!

2008-03-10T05:20:00.000-07:00

I think that we've all been in those relationships that leave that little bit of negative residue. When you've been with someone for a while, whether it be 1 month to 5 years, and things don't quite work out you get some attitudes toward relationships, life and love.

I have been in two previous long term relationships (even though "long term" is a relative term). I will say that I was slightly jaded by them both... When you tell someone that you love them and then what you thought was love wasn't really what you wanted it to be...It leaves scars!! And then in every relationship after those you become a little more wary about saying the "L word". You're not sure if this one will end as the last two did. So you don't want to dig yourself deeper because then it's just too hard to pull yourself back up to level ground if it doesn't work out.

Admitedly I was a little wary when Adele and I first started getting serious... But by the way side go all inhibitions. I've told myself that I will never compare this relationship to past relationships. This is new!! Every moment is its own!! And that is how I treat this thing called love now!!

I have learned somethings over the years...1. Never stay in a relationship just because it feels comfortable and routine!! and 2. Don't be afraid to do things just because you've had some negative experiences!!

That being said....Adele and I just celebrated our 2 Year Anniversary together!!

What an amazing girl!! I've figured out that I can't date girls that are the opposite of me...Adele and I (although having our differnces) are essentially the same person only with different parts...wink...parts!! We balance each other!! And just when you think that love for another person has to be "this" way(because that's how you've experienced it in the past) you learn that love has no patterns, no definition and no boundary!! What I thought was love is not what I think about it now!! It's a wonderful thing!!! With its ups and downs, its twists and turns...with it's calm and stormy days.

I love Adele...with all my heart and soul...I care so deeply for what she thinks, what she says and what she is (even if I don't always make eye contact...eh Del!!).

We are constantly teaching each other about each other and I am always learning new things about myself because of Adele!!

Adele...I love you so much...my little Dellie Bear!!

You have become a part of my family (coltrane and me)!!

And like my sister says "Here's to 60 more years!!"

Spread the love people!!

Namaste...shanti...shanti...shanti

Painful circumstances...a door for growth!!

2008-02-26T17:16:00.001-08:00

I've seen Tibetan monks before getting speared in the neck by other monks....WOW CRAZY!!
It's amazing how one man can stand his ground and stay calm while 4 other dudes are pushing a spear into his throat. I always wondered how someone remains so still in such circumstances.
This past weekend I put myself in that position.

First off, I will say that I love the art of tattooing. And it really is an art like no other. Its amazing what kind of pieces can be created with a tattoo gun these days.

I have loved and been slightly obsessed with tattoos since the age of 8. My father had a friend that he worked with who had a large dragon tattoo on his back. One day when I was 8 I went out our back door to go for a swim in da pool when I was AW struck by a beautiful sight. A brilliantly large piece of body art. Since that day I knew that I was destined to be part of the body modification community. Almost every year since that day I have begged my mother to get a tattoo.

Funny part is, I didn't get my first tat until I was 21. I made a deal with my mom that I could get pierced but I couldn't get a tattoo until my 21st birthday. Well I held true to that deal. I did get quite a few holes stabbed into my body but I held off on the body art. For my 21st birthday my parents (being the amazing people that they are) paid for me to go to New York City. I went down with the intention of going to the NYC Tattoo convention at the Roseland Ballroom to get my first (of many) tattoo.

I'd like to just say that I'm glad I waited or I would have gotten something stupid tattooed
on my person.

I ended up getting some Kanji on my inner arms that say "Beyond Language" which for me represents what drumming means to me....as well as what the Kanji means to me.

This past weekend I added to my ongoing collection with a new 3/4 sleeve on my right arm. The image is of a traditional Japanese warrior in a plain kimono. It's a night scene and he's holding a large lantern with falling Japanese Maple leaves all around!! Yeah...I know!!!! WICKED!!!

Six hours under the gun. Six hours of potential growth. How did I manage? YOGA!!! I used my breath to calm me down. I've found that recently, when faced with extenuating circumstances, that I can use my Yoga to keep me in the moment. Whether it be dealing with getting thousands of timy needles jammed into my skin for 6 hours or even just being out in the cold pumping my gas. The breath is a powerful thing if we can learn to harness it. For the tattoo I just kept my eyes closed and concentrated on taking deep and full breathes. Crazy enough...That shit works!!

Is there anything that Yoga can't do???

I think a lot of the process is just giving in to the situation. I knew that, no matter what, I was there until the outline was done. As soon as I came to terms with that I found that I became very centered and calm. It wasn't until around the last hour (when I knew I was almost done) that I started to get "antsy" and had a hard time centering. I also think that my body couldn't really take much more trauma.

All in all it was an enriching experience and the end definitely justified the means.

The power of Yoga never ceases to amaze me.

Namaste...shanti...shanti...shanti

"This will go well with my adversity!" - Theo Huxtable

2008-02-14T10:55:00.001-08:00

Have you ever seen that episode of the Cosby Show when Theo comes home from college to raid Cliff and Claire's fridge. There is a conversation about the adversity for a college student and Theo pulls some sauce (which resembles shrimp sauce) and says...see Blog title.

As Yogis, we get a lot of flack!! Flack manifesting in comments, looks and just general attitudes toward us. We are taking the path less travelled ...and even though there have been thousands and thousands of people that macheted the path before us there are still some rough patches and thorns. I recently got a set of Mala beads, which I wear around my wrist with pride (but not bad pride). But looks, comments...no one really understands...but if I were to wear Rosery beads..that would be handy dandy with everyone.

Although sometimes the jokes are all in good fun...(for instance one of my co-workers calls me Karma-man!!) Sometimes it's just ignorance on their part. As we Yogis know Avidya (ignorance) is the root cause of all sorrow and all afflictions. The question is, how do you educate? I think, most times its just better to let comments roll off like rain. Some people don't want to be educated and I'm not gonna preach because preaching is not my styles. I will sing the praises of Yoga straight through to my next life but I will not preach to people about Yoga.

I will, however, tell people not to knock it until they try it. It's a powerful thing and you just need to get through some of the stigmas related to Yoga. My co-worker (previously mentioned) thinks that Yoga is for girls. One of my favourite retaliations is to say, "While you're hangin' out with a bunch of sweaty dudes at the gym I'll be hangin' out with the pretty girls doing Yoga."

I feel great when I see another guy in Yoga class. My Ashtanga class is full of guys...it's awesome to see the dudes openning their minds about Yoga. Even the basic Hatha classes that I teach are attracting the gentlmen (mostly because their female counterparts drag them to class) because once they realize that it actually can be quite demading they gain a whole new respect for the practice. And then it leads, like it did for me, to greater awareness. Even if that awareness come in just a physical aspect...It's awareness non-the-less.

So if you happen to read this Blog and you have not tried Yoga before or maybe you're from a certain lineage of Yoga and are interested in another...Just F-in do it!!! Yoga has something to offer everyone...And I mean everyone.

Namaste...shanti...shanti...shanti

Patanjali-Shmamjali...and yet!!

2008-02-09T12:08:00.001-08:00

Can I feel the subtleties of this world....?
I think so.
I know that I am swinging.
From tree to tree only because I can't
commit to just one.
From prakrti to purusha...my self
my "I"
The mountain in me, the warrior...
The sky that is me
the clouds my personality.
Man, son, uncle, partner
My pride in these roles
But under under...soul!

by Steven Ferrell

Sometimes it all depends on how much energy and time and patience we have in ourselves. Some folks just don't care. This is when we have our mid life crises'. Our Corvettes and young girlfriends or our young stud boy toy. Our nervous break downs. The reason for this is..."Who am I?"
The man of older age wants so much to retain that physicality and freedom of older adolescence. The woman is eager to retain youth and knowing that she can still reel them in.

If you put time into knowing who you are or at least thinking about it from time to time something will come of it...Study yourself...You are the most interesting subject. You are the most amazing experiment.

"Who am I?"
It's a viable question. There is no need to be embarassed by wanting to know yourself...In all your bold and sometimes bloody truth.

Yesterday I chanted!! But it was different. I've said before that I love chanting...There's just something about it (possibly to do with musical interest...I haven't studied long enough). This time I had a plan for this chanting session. I was at work at the Personal Training studio. I got 54 coins (some pennies and some dimes) from the front desk and put them in a white cup (used for holding paperclips or maybe an earring that someone had lost). My goal was to chant "OM" 54 times. No biggie. I've done it before. Today I would do it in a public place. This was my challenge.

In Ashtanga you really sometimes put it all on the line. Some of the poses take some courage and a lot of patience. I wanted to put my spirit to the test. Could I whole heartedly, with conviction and honesty, chant my praises for this universe aloud?

I began my practice that day by going through full primary series which always gives me a beautiful feeling inside. It's comparable to when you look at someone that you love.. but they don't know that you're looking at them and it just makes you smile! I finished Headstand and Badha Padmasana and took a comfortable seated position. I placed my hands in Jnana mudra on my knees. I began to chant.

There were not a lot of people in the studio at the time... really just me in one room and Karen working at the front desk. It felt good. At first my heart was very audible to me...I could feel the slight nervousness in my finger tips. I soon settled in , finding a consistent tone. Then..............I heard the door of the studio open (it makes that electronic chiming sound)...bing. My thoughts were instantly swayed and I suddenly turned down the volume on my chants. I kept chanting a little more quietly.

Then it happened...I came to terms with the situation..."They can already hear me." They know that I'm here." They know what I'm doing (maybe)." "Just fucking do it!!!" So I did. I pumped up the damn volume on my stereo. And with booming sound in a hollow room ..... "AAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUMMMMMMMMMM" It was glorious. I remember a time in my teacher training when we all chanted OM together for 10 minutes...everyone chanting in their own distinct way and in no particular rhythm. It felt powerful. This felt the same way, but instead of having the support of like minds around me it was just my mind. It was my inner power and my inner support.

Admittedly my confidence was swaggered a few more times. And when my ego and my head got in the way, a voice would shout "Just fucking do it!!!" pardon le francais... like an R rated Nike commercial.

But I did it... It feels good. Somethings take courage. Sometimes we have to wait until things and scenarios are in the opposite spectrum of where we want them to be. Sometimes the feelings have to be so absolutely unbearable before we take action.

I knew I had to do this...I knew this had to happen!!

Funny thing was that when I told Adele I chanted at work...she instantly knew why. She knows me so well!!

Namaste...shanti...shanti...shanti

More Work Than It's Worth?

2008-02-05T08:39:00.000-08:00

So I really am a new Yogi!! I have questions and sometimes don't no where to find the answers...Will it really come to me if I put it out there? As a Pitta, is the Ashtanga practice good for me or could it be hurtful? I heard that no matter what, stick with your practice. If I have an injury should I rest it or keep doing my practice but at a less intense level? Sometimes this Yoga thing is confusing!!!!!

I am a very internal person. Any of my stresses and worries are very well hidden. Maybe acting in highschool has had a role to play. I'm not the kind of person that wears his heart on his sleeve...I keep things inside and I am very good at hiding my internal reactions. Or maybe I've always been good at dealing with my problems. I don't get stressed out much... I can literally count on one hand the number of times that I've been seriously enraged. My moto was always "Deal with it and move on!" And yet I used to run and re-run scenario upon scenario in my mind ad nausium. Since I've found Yoga (or Yoga found me) I've been able to really keep my mind from running away with itself. Thank you Yoga!!!

I know that this process and journey is not a fast acting relief like Reactine. I remember a quote from David Swenson that basically said, "Don't think of this journey as taking days, weeks or months. Think of it as years, decades and lifetimes." I use this to help cultivate patience and compassion for myeslf and my surroundings. This is a continuous journey... a lengthly journey...but a worth while journey. And I've got a great partner, Adele, to help along the way!!

When the end goal is pure knowledge of my True Self, long and healthy relationships and a greater appreciation of the universe, what other journey is there?!?!?

Im glad I got that off my mind!!

Namaste...shanti...shanti...shanti

To Breathe Or Not to Breathe

2008-02-02T13:54:00.000-08:00

(deep inhalation)

I offer my inhalation up to the controlling force of my exhalation,

(deep, smooth exhalation)

I offer my exhalation up to the controlling force of my inhalation.

This is our essence...our breath... our innate connection to our true self. And yet this is the furthest thing from our minds these days. Our heads are being consumed. Consumed by more things that can make you go faster...Consumed by more things that can give you more time (to spend doing what?)...Fast cars, fast food, fast cash and even what seems to be, fast Yoga.

I'm not sure who said this but I heard a quote once that said, "Yoga without intention or breath is mere gymnastics." Admittedly I find myself distracted in class but somehow I manage to re-connect.

Recently I was reading another Blog that was talking about the "Yoga Olympics". Where is the intention there? (And put on by, non other than Bikram, a well established Yoga Association). (I stay responsive and not reactive) What a trivialization of Yoga!! To be put on display and be judged for something that IS about lack of judgment. What happened to "The person is not meant to conform to the pose but the pose to the person." This whole Yoga competition thing just seems a little elitist!!

"Oh sorry Jeff, you're not the best Yogi because your back leg was a little bent in your first Virabhadrasana I...and your Savasana wasn't quite...still enough."

I walk around my class sometimes and think that this persons pose doesn't look like the cover of the Yoga Journal or how I think the pose should be. Then I remember when I started (and not long ago), how awkward, I'm sure, I looked in Triangle for the first 50 times. And the great thing was that my teachers all told me that Yoga is not just the poses. These poses are a tool to be used on the journey...not signify the journey!!

These poses are here to teach us about ourself and about life and about the universe...What does the Yoga Olympics teach us.

So I sit and I breath. And I know that sometimes this is what Yoga is. Sometimes when I read the Baghavad Gita or the Yoga Sutras, this is what Yoga is. When I walk in the park with Adele and we catch each others glance, hear each others breath and feel how in love we are...this is Yoga. When I hug my Mom, Dad, Sister (and the little bundle in her belly), Brother, my niece (Emma) and my nephew (Zachery) and feel completely supported...this is Yoga. Oh and I can hold Sirsasana for 20 breaths now...That shit is definitely Yoga!! HA!!

Namaste...shanti...shanti...shanti

Change In the House of Flies

2008-01-30T18:52:00.000-08:00

So just to start...Primary Series was the shit last night!!!! Sometimes I wonder if the phrase "the shit" is translatable into Sanskrit!! Oh...do I hear a new tattoo idea...Ha!!
But seriously (eyebrows drop), primary is spectacular. So refreshing, so detoxifying. I'm actually dealing with slight sciatic irritation and an SI joint issue right now. It's really helping my practice a lot. Cultivating Ahimsa comes truly shining through and helps to balance my Pitta. Although it is difficult trying to undue 28 years of conditioning in less than a year... patience, contentment...I am where I am no where to go but here. aaahhhhhh....

A friend of mine said to me the other night (we were chillin' the other night watching skateboarding videos and chatting) that when her Dad always asks her what time it is, she says..."Right now!!"
That is awesome...Truer words were never spoken!! I told her that I'm stealing it. When you are living moment to moment, the time is NOW!! That is one of the reasons that I like righting this Blog. It's a spontaneous action at this point...I just feel as though I have some thoughts that I'm connecting with and I want to get them out. (sigh) Aaahhhh life.

So now for my intention for this post...to say that people are wonderful!! Certainly in this world there are personality conflicts happening all around us. But when you truly make a connection or difference in this world it feels spectacular. Not necessarily because you were the cause or had some part in this glorious moment but because it makes you feel happy to see someone else so happy. It's like that feeling of warmth when you see two people in love. You think to yourself "Good for them for finding love!!" I feel that way about Adele and me...she is amazing!! I won't go on saying all the cliched things that I could say about her... but she is all of them.

In particular, one of the women in my class today (which was my first class as a certified Yoga Teacher) is wonderful. She said that she has finally realized that she loves herself for the first time. "Good for her for finding love!!" Nothing is more important than a love for yourself. To actually love who you are and where you're headed. She knows now that she needs not please everyone around at the sake of hating herself.

Haaaaaa!! It's funny how coincidences work....I just remembered that this was actually the intention set for last nights Primary Series....My mind....it's blowing....steaming!!!

Being a part of this thing called Yoga is outstanding...this enigmatic beauty that is the means and the end...the journey and the destination...This shit does still blow my mind sometimes!!! As it probably will for lifetimes to come.

To all...enjoy life...enjoy love...bask in them both...they are the same source of light.

Namaste...shanti...shanti...shanti

99% Practice, 1% Theory

2008-01-29T09:09:00.000-08:00

Tonight...7:15 pm...Primary Series!!!

For those of you who are not familiar with Primary Series, it is a sequence of poses from the Ashtanga Yoga practice. I am in love with Ashtanga.

I am in love with all styles of Yoga but Ashtanga really speaks to me....Perhaps it is because my natural Ayurvedic constitution is Pitta...But there's more to it than that.

It is a beautiful practice (not only to do but to watch)!! It is so fluid, so meaningful, so expressive...and it resonates with every piece of my soul. I have actually only been doing Ashtanga Yoga for maybe 6 months...My Yoga experience is actually not even a year yet.

I can't deny it's effect on me...Coming from a weight training back ground I feel that one of the drawing factors is that it is such a physically demanding practice. But it is mentally demanding!!

It makes you keep your cool and calm down in the face of difficult situations. I remember when I first tried Primary Series. I had recently joined a new studio (not really knowing anything about the Ashtanga practice other than that Bryan Kest DVD that I bought on Amazon). I walked into class @ De La Sol and set up my mat, when the man beside me (who has actually become a friend) said, "You know this is Primary Series right?" I replied, "Yes!!" (Not even knowing what the hell Primary even was). He continues with, "This is a level 3 class you know?" I saw that on the schedule but had no idea what to expect. I was in for the shock of my life. I've been hooked ever since.

A lot of people ask, "Isn't Ashtanga just about the poses?" God NO!!!!! Like any Yoga... there is the breath, the surrender of effort to spirit, the relaxation and the philosophy behind it.

It's just that rather than holding poses for extended periods of time you move through the Primary poses in a systematic and slightly faster way. At the beginning of class there is still an invocation (to pay tribute to all Yogis who have paved the way and to seer Patanjali) and there is still surrendering at the end.

However, Ashtanga does tend to draw in very athletic types that think of it as nothing but a work out... and that's cool too. They'll probably find out for themselves (as I did) that there is more to the style than just sweating and breathing. Ashtanga is meditation in movement.

Seane Corn said that Ashtanga is actually very ritualistic...From the way you breath to the way you position your hands (like a beautifully performed tea drinking ceremony). The whole practice becomes an offering to Spirit. Effort soon becomes effortless. That's what I'm beginning to realize.

I do however love going to other types of classes. Heather Greaves, who was my Teacher Trainer, comes from a Kundalini background and I've come to love that practice as well.

I love chanting!!!! For some reason chanting really resonates with me as well!!! Give me a few rounds of the Gayatri any day.

And every now and again when I feel that I need some relaxation, and a less physical practice, I'll do a more restorative practice. I was once told that a sadhaka (student) should pick one particular practice and stick with it. I don't necessarily agree with that. I feel that every type of Yoga from Pre-natal to Anusara to Kundalini to Iyengar all have something wonderful to offer.

And as a Yoga Teacher, having so many sources to draw from is amazing.

I will say this...Yoga has something for everyone!!

The wonderful thing is that the world is finally realizing it

(I'm glad that it didn't take me that long).

Namaste...shanti...shanti...shanti!

Another Day At the Office

2008-01-28T08:50:00.000-08:00

Monday, Monday, Monday!!!

For most, one of the worst days of the week...

Back to work, back to school, back to a schedule,

back to workin' for da Man!!!

I'm not really excited to be going back to work... I'm not jumping up and down or planning a huge fireworks display in celebration of a new work week. I do sometimes follow the "LoverBoy" ideal..."Everybody's workin' for the weekend!!" But I do love my job!!!

I am a personal trainer by career and also a new Yoga Teacher (having just completed my first of many Yoga Teacher Trainings).

I was admittedly lost for a while. When I got out of Highschool I really had no idea what I wanted to do with my life...Video game tester wasn't really an option. I ended up applying to 4 different colleges for 4 different things (mostly art realated). When it came time to decide I realized that I didn't want to do any of them. Soooo, like any other average dude in my area, I got a job in a factory. As much as I ended up hating my life for a couple years b/c of the job it really did lead me to my first real connection with myself.

I, for lack of a better term, got sick of it!!! I got sick of going to work when it was darkand getting out of work when it was dark. I was sick of working my ass off and only getting comments from my supervisor when I was messing up (never praise for my hard work).

It was at that time that I took my first step towards FREEDOM. I went back to school.

I chose to follow my passion and go to school for music (I'm a drummer by nature) because it was the only thing that had remained a constant joy of my life. I didn't get full support right away(sorry Mom...I just don't like working with computers) but my parents eventually saw how happy I was and helped me a lot in the end.

When you get out of music school you basically have 3 options...1.Starving musician. 2.Music as a side job. or 3.Teaching lessons full time and gigging on the side. Non of these options appealed to me. That, in turn, led me to think "What else do I really like to do?" Hey I like to work-out. And I've always had fun helping my friends at the gym. Giving advice and making training programs!!

So I became a Personal Trainer...which then lead me to Yoga....Funny thing...I don't even really touch weights anymore...What a great chain of events!!!

For anyone that reads these Blog entries....I have a tendeny to go off on tangents...But its all relavent.

Anyway, back to Mondays. I seriously feel that work is one of the best places to cultivate the Yogic values that I've been studying and implementing. I believe that I was meant to work where I do so that I could deal with the obstacles that have layed in path for years. I have never really handled high-strung people very well...I just wouldn't even waste my time with them.

My boss is the Webster's definition of high-strung. He is wound so tight that he might spontaeously combust at any moment. Excessive Vata and Pitta....EXCESSIVE!!!

He has really helped me to go inside myself and teach myself that there is no such thing as stressors...Its all in how you respond to it. Before I would go out of my way to avoid him so that I didn't get stressed out. Now...I breath...stay calm...he is who he is...I am who I am...I have 2 choices...stay and deal with it or quit my job. I chose "Calm".

Ahimsa, Satya, Asteya, Brahmacharya, Aparigraha!!

All come into play in day to day life....for those of you not familiar with the above Sanskrit terms,

Go to Google and type in Yamas.

We are faced with many things through out the day...

How do you deal with them?

I use Yoga!!!

Namaste...shanti...shanti...shanti!

The Day I Tried To Live

2008-01-27T17:28:00.000-08:00

I remember watching the Cosby Show as a kid. I used to love that show. I wasn't exactly sure why. But it seemed as though they were the coolest family on television. Every week a new story, a new joke and a new guest Jazz musician...being that Bill Cosby, not only a great spokes person for Kodak and Jell-o pudding, was also a famous Jazz producer. From time to time I hear a song on the radio or somewhere else and I associate it with the Cosby show. For instance, I was downloading some James Brown lately and I heard "Night and Day" and was transported back to the episode where the Huxtable clan celebrated Cliffs parents anniversary by lip syncing to this song. The memory is an amazing thing.

My girlfriend of nearly two years, Adele, is directly responsible for, not only introducing me to Yoga, but also influenced my decision to write a Blog. She has recently started to right a brilliant blog called No Way Au Lait. Her stories of food and fun and all Dairy free. It is in her that I find undying compassion. I find unyielding support. She has supported my decision to become a Yoga Teacher and also supports my journey as a novice Yogi, trying to make sense out of the world. But I love that I am trying to make sense of it all and not just lagging by on the ride to who knows where.

Which brings me back to the Cosby story. (tangent: I think one of the funniest episodes was when the whole family tried to teach Theo about living in the "real world" so they pretended to be other people...Rudy was Mrs. Farnzworth, the banker. I laugh just thinking about it.). There was an episode that had a guest appearance by Jazz Vocalist Lena Horne. She sang these words "In this world of ordinary people, extra-ordinary people...I'm glad there is you. In this world of over rated pleasures, and under rated treasures...I'm glad there is you."

This first Blog entry is my dedication to Adele. They say that you are meant to meet people so that they may teach you something that you needed to know about yourself. Adele has not only taught me my way around a kitchen, but she has taught me that every time I say "I love you!" that I should mean it. She has also taught me that Love is not what I once thought it was...It's better!!

This is a Blog of My journey. A journey that happens moment by moment, breath by breath. This is the Blog of The ifree Yogi.

-Picture yourself as the sky... Of a brilliant shade of blue...From time to time in this spacious sky there are cloud formations...These clouds, consistantly passing...These clouds however slight or however large...However light and fluffy or however dark and ominous...these clouds do not make up the sky...We all know that when the clouds are gone there is always a crystal blue sky just waiting to be discovered again!!
We are all crystal blue and perfect.... just waiting to be discovered.